To The Friend Who Was Pregnant Long Before I Was

Now that I have experienced this whole new parenting thing for the first time in my life, I have learned a lot of things along the way. Much advice came from family members who had been parents for many, many years. Most of their words of wisdom were very helpful, but sometimes I took their advice with a grain of salt knowing very well that parenting has significantly changed in the last thirty years.

Some advice was from friends who had already experienced pregnancy, and were raising their own children. For some reason their advice seemed to stick with me more. The latest kids shows on TV, food trends, baby items all seemed more relevant than the, “Well back when you were a baby…” advice.

I had some friends that already had five year olds by the time I had my first child. They were in a different spot than I was. I was breast feeding and barely sleeping and they were school shopping and attending soccer practices. It made me realize three things about these friends of mine that had a few years of experience on me.


Thank you for the advice.

Seriously. Thank you. The whole first time parenting thing is scary and new. Thank you for being there at any hour of the day so I could send you a text, or call you to ask questions. Thank you for answering my stupid questions like the difference between 24 month shirts and 2T shirts. Thank you for sharing with me what foods I should probably try first with my child. You were so helpful, and allowed me to calm down and see the beautiful part of pregnancy and the beginning stages of human life.

I’m sorry I didn’t know what to ask when you were starting your journey as a parent.

I did not have a clue what pregnancy was like, let alone welcoming a new baby into your home. I’m sorry I never asked you how you were sleeping before the baby’s arrival or after baby came. I’m sorry I showed up to visit without a meal for you to eat, or even a gift for your baby. How silly of me to not even bring a simple meal, or small toy for your child. I’m sorry I never asked if you needed help with anything. I could have done a load of laundry, or let you go take a nice, deserved nap. I’m sorry I never asked you how baby was eating, or about her health. I’m sorry I just assumed that you could still hang out whenever you wanted to. I was so naive when it came to parenting, and I’m sorry I was not a better friend for you.

I cannot tell you how much you have taught me.

I watch you and your children. You are amazing at being a mama. Your children are just as awesome as you. Whenever we are together I enjoy watching you be a mom. I watch the things you say, how you handle arguments or tough situations, how much they eat, absolutely everything. You have taught me so much about being a parent, and I have so much respect for you.


From the hand-me-downs to the simple texts, thank you and I love you. You are one awesome mama, and an equally amazing friend.

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