When I was in college my roommates watched “Gilmore Girls”. They knew all the episodes, characters, plots and even the inside jokes. I didn’t know it very well, but would watch bits and pieces.
I started watching Gilmore Girls the day I heard the phrase, “It’s a girl!”
We came home for the doctors, I got in my sweats, cozied in on the couch and turned on Netflix. What was the very first show to pop up but Gilmore Girls. I thought to myself, “This must be a sign”, and from there my addiction began. I finished the entire series before my daughter was even born.
I was so intrigued with the relationship between Lorelei and Rory Gilmore, as well as Lorelei’s relationship with her mother. The relationships were very different. One was more strict and formal while the other was very open and silly. I wondered what kind of relationship I would eventually have with my daughter.
One night I saw a video that a YouTube mom put on Facebook talking about how mothers and daughters should not be friends. From there it led me to a different YouTube video of another mom arguing the opposite point. Thus began the debate of the “mother daughter friendships”.
The first woman felt that mothers and daughters should not be friends, but have a strict mother daughter relationship as matriarch and child. She argued that you should not be friends with your daughter because your child will not respect you as much if you are put on “their level”.
The second woman stated how important it is to become close friends with your children. Their argument was that if you do not become friends with your child how will they ever learn to trust you, and feel like you are on their side?
After watching both videos I thought about what my stance in the matter was. Did I want a Gilmore Girls relationship with my daughter, or not? Then I realized my thoughts were the same as every other parenting debate I’ve ever come across.
Every single mother is different.
Every single child is different.
Every single parent/child relationship is different.
Some mother daughter relationship’s work better as friends. Some work better in a more strict environment. Some moms choose to breastfeed, some don’t. Some mother’s choose to stay at home with their kids, some don’t. Some parents spank their kids, some don’t. People need to understand that we all make choices, and we should not judge others for making choices that are different than ours.
My daughter is only one, and I have no idea what type of relationship we will have yet. All I know is that it will be a relationship we are both happy and comfortable with, and I hope people don’t judge our decision. If you want to be like Lorelei and Rory Gilmore then go grab your coffee, have a speedy conversation and be friends like them. I’m not judging you.