To The Friend Who Was Pregnant Long Before I Was

Now that I have experienced this whole new parenting thing for the first time in my life, I have learned a lot of things along the way. Much advice came from family members who had been parents for many, many years. Most of their words of wisdom were very helpful, but sometimes I took their advice with a grain of salt knowing very well that parenting has significantly changed in the last thirty years.

Some advice was from friends who had already experienced pregnancy, and were raising their own children. For some reason their advice seemed to stick with me more. The latest kids shows on TV, food trends, baby items all seemed more relevant than the, “Well back when you were a baby…” advice.

I had some friends that already had five year olds by the time I had my first child. They were in a different spot than I was. I was breast feeding and barely sleeping and they were school shopping and attending soccer practices. It made me realize three things about these friends of mine that had a few years of experience on me.


Thank you for the advice.

Seriously. Thank you. The whole first time parenting thing is scary and new. Thank you for being there at any hour of the day so I could send you a text, or call you to ask questions. Thank you for answering my stupid questions like the difference between 24 month shirts and 2T shirts. Thank you for sharing with me what foods I should probably try first with my child. You were so helpful, and allowed me to calm down and see the beautiful part of pregnancy and the beginning stages of human life.

I’m sorry I didn’t know what to ask when you were starting your journey as a parent.

I did not have a clue what pregnancy was like, let alone welcoming a new baby into your home. I’m sorry I never asked you how you were sleeping before the baby’s arrival or after baby came. I’m sorry I showed up to visit without a meal for you to eat, or even a gift for your baby. How silly of me to not even bring a simple meal, or small toy for your child. I’m sorry I never asked if you needed help with anything. I could have done a load of laundry, or let you go take a nice, deserved nap. I’m sorry I never asked you how baby was eating, or about her health. I’m sorry I just assumed that you could still hang out whenever you wanted to. I was so naive when it came to parenting, and I’m sorry I was not a better friend for you.

I cannot tell you how much you have taught me.

I watch you and your children. You are amazing at being a mama. Your children are just as awesome as you. Whenever we are together I enjoy watching you be a mom. I watch the things you say, how you handle arguments or tough situations, how much they eat, absolutely everything. You have taught me so much about being a parent, and I have so much respect for you.


From the hand-me-downs to the simple texts, thank you and I love you. You are one awesome mama, and an equally amazing friend.


To My First Born

You will never know the special place you hold in my heart, my first born. It doesn’t matter how many children I have, there is one spot in my heart that is saved specifically for you. This does not mean that you will be my favorite, and it certainly does not mean that I will love you more. It means that you and I will have a bond that none of my other children and I will share. I know I will hold a strong attachment to them in someway as well. But you, my dear, you are my first born.


You made me a mother.

You are the first person to give me the greatest title I’ve ever received, “mom”. I always wanted to be a mother, and you made that happen.

I will have more children, and I will also be their mother, but it was you who put me through the initiation.


You’ve taught me so much.

I knew nothing about raising a baby before you came along. Literally nothing. I was so scared. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. “How will I know how much she needs to eat? Is she going to be warm enough in this? Is it okay if her poop is this color?” It was a new and challenging time for both of us.

You made it easy, and slowly we figured out things together.


You introduced me to all the wonderful things about motherhood.

Watching you grow was the greatest thing I’ve ever witnessed. Every small thing you did I celebrated. It was so exciting to see a child discover the world around them daily, and you were able to give me that excitement for the very first time. I know I will be just as excited when my other children have their first accomplishments as well, but you introduced me to how truly remarkable a growing baby can be.


You introduced me to the tough things about motherhood.

There were times when I was lost. Times I just didn’t know how to make you happy. There were days that we both just sat there and cried and neither of us knew what to do. I felt like I wasn’t doing anything right. We made it, though. We’ve made it through everything together, and it’s made us stronger. Maybe you’ve even paved the way for the next child so things won’t be as hard for me the second time around.


You’ve made me appreciate others.

Even though you were an easy baby, you were still a lot of work. You made me appreciate the family and friends that were constant supports whenever I needed them.

You showed me a new side of my parents as you gave them this new title, grandparents. You helped me to appreciate the way they raised me as I began to raise my own little human.

You made me look at my husband as not only the man I married, but this wonderful new father, whom I saw in a new light. We became a stronger team, having to make decisions and come up with new ideas together for you.


You showed me how to love in a completely different way.

I never knew how much I could love something until you came around. It was like a different part of my heart that I didn’t even know existed opened up to love this tiny baby more than I have ever loved anything. I feel like I can love more, and I feel like I can love harder.


Thank you, my first born. Thank you for entering my life and changing it completely for the better. I will never be able to explain the place you hold in my heart, and just how deeply I love you.